A Life Without Him

So, today it really sunk in that I have no life without Matthew. I love my husband to death, but any couple knows that some time apart is healthy.

Matthew's hobby is to play Frisbee Golf (aka Frolf) with his buddies. When he is doing that every Saturday and occasionally in between, or he is at work and I'm at home, I find myself cleaning, running arons, or playing on the computer. I don't have any hobbies, because honestly there isn't much to do in the Crest unless your an alcoholic or you have friends.

Yes, of course I have friends, but they aren't very reliable friends, they are more like acquaintances. Matthew and I have decided that this is just how Ridgecrest people are. Most of them will make plans with me just to turn around and break them, they have more drama than a soap opera, and they go to the bar and drink like camels drink water. My good friends either don't live here anymore or are friends from Isabella that I met through Matthew, the ones who moved are smart and got out while they could. Its kind of depressing when I sit down and have the time to actually think about it. I really hate living in this town. There is nothing really keeping us here except jobs, which mine is transferable. What are we doing trying to buy a house in this crap hole we call home. I love our apartment, and I am fairly happy with my job. I know I would be happy anywhere with Matthew, but when he is off doing his thing, I feel that I have nothing. I'm not happy with Ridgecrest...I haven't been for quite sometime. We need to get out of this black hole once and for all. I think I'm going to look further into it. I know that there are some military bases in Oregon and Washington that may be transferable with my job, however, how do you make such a move? My job most likely wouldn't pay for us to move...his job is going through some changes that leave us blind to the future. I'm one for planning out the future, even if it doesn't work out the way I planned, at least I have an idea of what could happen, or a goal in mind....SOMETHING. I dont know what to do anymore...this town depresses me sometimes.